In order of how much we wish you hadn't asked
A butt puppy is... well. It's complicated. Not because the concept is complex, but because there is no concept. The term originated from a simple mishearing — someone said something perfectly normal, and another person heard "butt puppies." We've been trying to figure out what to do with that information ever since. For more information that won't help, visit our comprehensive explainer.
We have a website. We have a logo. We have a page called "What Are Butt Puppies?" We even have a FAQ section — you're reading it right now. Isn't that enough? (It isn't. No, this is not a real foundation.)
No. Butt puppies are a concept born from a misunderstanding. You cannot adopt a misunderstanding. We checked with legal, and they said — and this is a direct quote — "Please stop asking us things." If you'd like to adopt an actual puppy, we strongly encourage that. Just not from us. We don't have any.
This website costs approximately $10 per year for the domain name. We are fully self-funded and deeply, irresponsibly in the red. Our annual budget is the cost of a large coffee, and we have already exceeded it by building this FAQ page. There is no board of directors. There are no investors. There is only regret.
Only to your dignity. If you say "butt puppies" in a professional setting, you will be asked to leave. If you say it at a dinner party, you will not be invited back. If you say it to a dog, the dog will look at you with the kind of disappointment usually reserved for when you pretend to throw the ball but don't.
You didn't. But if it helps: take a deep breath, find a quiet room, and say the words "I heard wrong" three times. If the butt puppy persists, consider that you may be on this website too long. Close the tab. Go for a walk. Call someone you love. Tell them about butt puppies. Watch them slowly stop loving you.
You cannot train something that does not exist. We've tried. We set up a small training facility in 2024, consisting of a folding chair and a printed-out picture of what we imagined a butt puppy might look like. The results were inconclusive, largely because nothing showed up. The chair is still there.
...Next question.
Because the domain was available. Sometimes that's all it takes. You see a domain name like buttpuppies.com and you think, "Someone should do something with that." And then you realize you are someone. And now here we are. Is it a good reason? No. Is it a reason? Technically, yes.
probably